I decided to do a request from a reader of our blog, so I’m going to tell you how you should not try to get over a breakup. The request was actually how to get over a breakup, but we’ll get to that at the end. Breakups and heartbreaks suck, so I hope these tips will help.
- Don’t be a basic teenager who buys ice cream and plans a little Netflix and cry with herself or a bestie. Well ofcourse you can do this one or two times the first days, but this solution is only temporary, so don’t get stuck in this fase.
- Don’t pretend you’re fine either. It’s okay to cry.
- Don’t start the bad habbit of guy-hopping. Don’t start a new relationship to forget about the previous one. It might be tempting to show your ex how well you’re doing with a new guy, but this is pretty mean and not going to work for yourself.
- Don’t start drinking on every occasion you get, because being drunk is never a solution for anything. It’s avoiding your problems. Which is fine on one party, one night, but don’t kill your liver.
- Don’t try to stay friends. This almost never works. Just see him as someone you used to know.
- Don’t stalk them on social media and DEFINITELY don’t read old messages. Ever. It will only give you heartbreak over and over again. You don’t have to unfollow them everywhere, but you can keep being friends on facebook without having to see them on your timeline all the time. Just go to their profile and click on the little “following” button and just click unfollow. They won’t really notice, so no hard feelings.
- Don’t text your ex. Just don’t. it’s akward and same as with reading old messages: you’ll only miss them more.
- We are all human beings and we all get the tendency to do this, especially when they hurt you, but don’t try to take revenge on them. Usually it looks pathetic. Stay strong and stand above it. Hate only brings more hate in your life. And don’t post anything about it on social media.
- Don’t avoid them for the rest of your life. You will run into them eventually. It’s okay to avoid them, but don’t skip a party a year later, because they might be there. Don’t sell yourself short and miss that party. Just go and if the are indeed at that party just say hi like an adult and continue having fun with your friends. (But don’t pretend to have SO MUCH FUN to make him jealous either. You want to think of him as just a guy you used to know.)
- Don’t keep holding that bear he gave you and cry your eyes out or stare at that picture of you and him holding hands. Throw it into a bag and put it somewhere in the attic. Out of sight out of mind. Don’t throw them away either! You will want to hold onto it for later, when your heart has healed and you can think of it as a great memory again. Same goes with pictures. Store them somewhere on your computer and delete them off your phone.
- Don’t listen to sad, breakup songs for forever. Listen to fun songs that make you happy. Alter your way of thinking to alter your reality.
Now I hear you think “And how DO I get over a breakup?”. Well, move on. Not the kind of move-on-into-a-next-relationship, but the kind where you just live your life. Do fun stuff with friends. Work hard at school or your job. Make your life better for yourself, not to get him back. If you really want him back (and you thought about it well and the breakup is longer than a year ago) you could ask, but if he say no you should accept and respect that answer. DON’T BEG. And do not become the desperate stalking ex either.
In fact, just don’t talk to boys. Just kidding. Don’t give up on love, there’s someone out there for you.