Maybe you are annoyed with all those people telling you to be positive. Maybe you just wanna throw pity parties all the time. Maybe you feel like you are not allowed to be sad.
But MAYBE they do have a point. Focussing on the negative isn’t gonna make things any better. Yes, ofcourse bad things happen and ofcourse you’re allowed to feel sad every once in a while, but don’t linger in it for too long. Life sucks, but focussing on the positive things is a great way to trick yourself into thinking it doesn’t.
Here are some tips to master the art of being positive. Actually, I’m not sure if I can help you master them since I suck at it so bad myself.. Soooo, good luck!
- Keep a positivity diary: Try to end your day with writing a few things down that were fun that day, give yourself some compliments or you can do both. You can write anything as long as it’s the positive side of that day. This helps focus on the positive things and makes you see the day in a brighter way. Especially ending your days with this works really well! It might feel stupid at first, but you’ll get used to it.
- Stop the lingering: If you do have a pity party plan an end to it. Try to go do something fun after, to completely get your mind off of things. Whatever works for you.
- Try to hang out with positive people: I know this sounds shitty, I really do.. But it’s true. That’s why people are so allergic to negative people. We all struggle to see the positive things in life and hanging out with people who point out the positive things instead of the negative makes it a little less hard. It’s a team effort everyone! This does NOT mean you should ditch the negative people. You can try to help them see the positive side of things. Try to divide your time between the negative and positive people in a way that you feel you can handle.
- Do things you love/that give you peace: This is a pretty cliché one, but I felt like I had to mention it. It’s really important to create a moment of peace and serenity every day. Try to find at least half an hour a day to do something that’s really just for yourself. It could be literally anything. Here are a few examples if you can’t think of anything: -breathing exercises (could be yoga, but just focussing on breathing in general works great) -watching your favorite tv show -eating your favorite food -create something creative -reading a book -going for a walk -cleaning your room -working out -listening to some music -lighting a scented candle. Well you get the idea. Whatever works for you! However, don’t do stuff that makes you feel good, but gets you in trouble! And don’t do something and then try to instagram it for half an hour. Such a waste of your precious time. Do what you love and do it for you.
- Find your soulmate: Just kidding! Although it does work really well, you can’t rush those things. But love is so much more than just having a relationship. Maybe you love your mom or your cat or your friends. Let your love for them be your motivation to find joy in life. They want to see you happy. Although you shouldn’t let it be a pressure to be happy all the time, it’s okay to have a shitty day. They will love you anyway. And I don’t think your cat will care if you keep feeding him anway.
- Try not to avoid your problems: Sure you can spend all your money and look at it in the most but-it-made-me-happy positive kind of way. But being positive doesn’t mean righting your wrongs and doing it over and over again. You shouldn’t regret doing it, but the right way to think is “Well I can’t change the fact that I did that stupid thing now, but I can try not to do it again.”. It will change your life for the better. Accept you made a mistake, move on and do better next time.
I hope I said something useful and that you will find the happiness you deserve. And remember, the shittiest people are the unhappiest, so try to be forgiving! See you next time!
2016 is still fresh, new and full of opportunities. That’s why I wanted to share some of the reminders which make me feel like I’m improving myself. I find it hard to keep my resolutions, so I was wondering if this would work better for me.
- Stop spending time with shitty people.
There are a lot of people out there who will make you feel unwanted, dumb, annoying, etc. It’s just not worth it to spend time with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself. Figuring that out now, can save you a lot of regret about wasted time with those people, and that’s time you will never get back. Your time is precious, remember that.
- Set goals for each month.
I recently bought an adorable notebook from Hema and I thought it would be perfect for getting organised. In that notebook I’ll be putting my monthly goals (such as; run X miles, read X books, etc.). But also for example birthdays that are coming up, songs I have to listen to and inspirational quotes. It’s like a planner and I’m really hoping this works out.
- A good night’s sleep can fix almost anything.
It doesn’t matter if you’re getting over a breakup or just feeling under the weather. After those 8 hours of sleep you might be still heartbroken, but you’ll feel rested and it will be a lot easier to move on when you take good care of yourself.
And last but not least a few self-explanatory reminders:
– Listen to amazing music
– Sleeping with make-up on will give you breakouts
– Red lipstick will (most likely) make you feel instantly better
– Smile as often as you can
– Sit up straight
Happy new year everybody, make 2016 a good one!
I decided to do a request from a reader of our blog, so I’m going to tell you how you should not try to get over a breakup. The request was actually how to get over a breakup, but we’ll get to that at the end. Breakups and heartbreaks suck, so I hope these tips will help.
- Don’t be a basic teenager who buys ice cream and plans a little Netflix and cry with herself or a bestie. Well ofcourse you can do this one or two times the first days, but this solution is only temporary, so don’t get stuck in this fase.
- Don’t pretend you’re fine either. It’s okay to cry.
- Don’t start the bad habbit of guy-hopping. Don’t start a new relationship to forget about the previous one. It might be tempting to show your ex how well you’re doing with a new guy, but this is pretty mean and not going to work for yourself.
- Don’t start drinking on every occasion you get, because being drunk is never a solution for anything. It’s avoiding your problems. Which is fine on one party, one night, but don’t kill your liver.
- Don’t try to stay friends. This almost never works. Just see him as someone you used to know.
- Don’t stalk them on social media and DEFINITELY don’t read old messages. Ever. It will only give you heartbreak over and over again. You don’t have to unfollow them everywhere, but you can keep being friends on facebook without having to see them on your timeline all the time. Just go to their profile and click on the little “following” button and just click unfollow. They won’t really notice, so no hard feelings.
- Don’t text your ex. Just don’t. it’s akward and same as with reading old messages: you’ll only miss them more.
- We are all human beings and we all get the tendency to do this, especially when they hurt you, but don’t try to take revenge on them. Usually it looks pathetic. Stay strong and stand above it. Hate only brings more hate in your life. And don’t post anything about it on social media.
- Don’t avoid them for the rest of your life. You will run into them eventually. It’s okay to avoid them, but don’t skip a party a year later, because they might be there. Don’t sell yourself short and miss that party. Just go and if the are indeed at that party just say hi like an adult and continue having fun with your friends. (But don’t pretend to have SO MUCH FUN to make him jealous either. You want to think of him as just a guy you used to know.)
- Don’t keep holding that bear he gave you and cry your eyes out or stare at that picture of you and him holding hands. Throw it into a bag and put it somewhere in the attic. Out of sight out of mind. Don’t throw them away either! You will want to hold onto it for later, when your heart has healed and you can think of it as a great memory again. Same goes with pictures. Store them somewhere on your computer and delete them off your phone.
- Don’t listen to sad, breakup songs for forever. Listen to fun songs that make you happy. Alter your way of thinking to alter your reality.
Now I hear you think “And how DO I get over a breakup?”. Well, move on. Not the kind of move-on-into-a-next-relationship, but the kind where you just live your life. Do fun stuff with friends. Work hard at school or your job. Make your life better for yourself, not to get him back. If you really want him back (and you thought about it well and the breakup is longer than a year ago) you could ask, but if he say no you should accept and respect that answer. DON’T BEG. And do not become the desperate stalking ex either.
In fact, just don’t talk to boys. Just kidding. Don’t give up on love, there’s someone out there for you.
The thing I like to do most in the Fall is to snuggle up with a blanket, hot tea and a good book. I can sit like that for hours, completely unaware of my surroundings.
Since I finished high school a few months ago, I started reading a lot. Reading for yourself is, in my opinion, so much more fun and enjoyable than reading book for a test. These are my favorite books I read (or reread) in the past few months.
Eleanor & Park – Rainbow Rowell
When I first saw the book cover I immediately fell in love with it. It is adorable, just like the story. Even though it is a love story, it is not a “traditional” one in which the boy meets the girl and they fall head over heels for eachother. Set in the year 1986, the two misfits Eleanor and Park slowly develop a friendship in the back of the school bus. The book was released in 2013, but explains perfectly how life in the 80s must have been like, without the internet and iPhones. And with some current issues, such as domestic violence and bullying. Therefore, this book is perfect when you want to read a cute but not cliche love story.
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
I think almost everyone has either heard about this book or seen the movie, so I won’t explain thoroughly what the story is about. What I will tell you is that this is, up to now, my favorite American literature book. While reading it, all I wanted to do was jump in a time machine and go back to the Roaring Twenties. Partying all summer long, not worrying about anything and, after seeing the movie, dressing in fabulous outfits seems like a perfect summer to me. The mysterious Jay Gatsby makes the whole story interesting and you will want to finish the book to see if he ends up with his true love.
Hannah – Paul-Loup Sulitzer
The story about the Jewish girl Hannah is inspired by Helena Rubinstein. Hannah discovers her talent for marketing when she works at the grocery store in Warschau. Because of unrequited love, the young girl is determined to take over the world. And she will. Her first cosmetics store in Australia is a huge succes, but that’s not enough for Hannah. Opening stores in cities like London and Paris will bring her closer to her dream. The determination she has is contagious and Hannah’s ability to wrap every man around her finger is very inspiring and creates hilarious situations.
Gone Girl – Gillian Flynn
I wanted to wait to see the movie after I read the book. But now that I finished the 450 pages full of genius plot twists, I am not sure I even want to see the movie anymore. The story took so many unpredictable turns, I could not stop reading. Every chapter I was curious about which situatiosn the characters would get themselves into, most of them I couldn’t have thought of it myself.
One word: amazing.
Me Before You – Jojo Moyes
This book is a lot more serious than the others. Even though it made me laugh sporadically, most of the time I was trying to imagine myself in the life of Will. Before his motorcycle accident, he did things like skydiving and he traveled a lot. But now he is a quadriplegic and Will has no desire to live anymore.
Suddenly Louisa Clark comes into his life. They are both unaware of the consequences this will have for the rest of their lives. The story is intriguing, sad and contains a little bit of humor. I can’t wait to read the sequel.
So in a week I’ll be going to New York City, as I mentioned in my previous post. Therefore, I thought I’d make a list of the stuff I need to keep me sane on a 6-hour long flight.
As the bookworm I am, I got to have a book with me at all times. Reading will make the time go faster, and before you know it you’ll be at your destination. I haven’t decided on which book to take yet, I’m doubting between The Great Gatsby and Eleanor & Park.
It can get quite cold on airplanes, so I always like to bring my big scarf with me to keep me warm with this improvised blanket. Speaking of clothing, I make sure I carry an extra pair of underwear and socks. You never know whether your luggage will arrive at the right destination.
Of course with enough music so I can listen to my playlist for hours. I always have a hard time concentrating on the movies they show, so I will have to take care of my own entertainment in airplanes.
An obvious one, the food cart will never come when you’re hungry. Almonds and chocolate chip cookies are usually my go-to airplane food that will prevent me from buying a $7 sandwich. Oh, and don’t forget chewing gum!
Needless to say, without this you won’t be going anywhere.
Bottle of water
Same with the food, the flight attendants will almost never be there when you’re thirsty. And most of the time I’m too lazy to ask so I make sure I always have my own bottle with me.
This might be a typical case of the blind leading the blind, but I wanted to give you some inside information on how to start a blog. It can be difficult to decide how to handle the things that come at you when starting a blog, so here are some tips from a (not so much) expert to safely (and stress free) guide you through the experience.
Amount of posting
You should try to post 1 or 2 times a week. If you can handle it you can try to post more, but we soon discovered that posting 4 times a week was not easy. After a few weeks we quickly ran out of inspiration to post about so much and it wasn’t really fun anymore. Posting less than 1 or 2 times a week is also not a really great idea, because if you don’t post there will be nothing to read for your visitors. You will see the more you post the more visitors you’ll have. Just don’t over do it!
The first post
Your first post should be about who you are and what your motives are to start this blog. People appreciate to see who’s behind it and see someone who puts effort and energy into it. Show your passion, because enthusiasm is contagious. On the other hand, if you want to stay anonymous posting about yourself is not necessary.
You should try to get the word out that you’ve started a blog as much as possible. Link your blog to a site like bloglovin’, use tags with each post and maybe even post something about your new blog on your social media accounts. The more you advertise and let people know you exist, the more visitors you will have.
Ofcourse blogging isn’t all about having visitors. You should do it because it’s fun. However visitors can motivate you to continue when you have no inspiration or just feel like giving up. I don’t really agree with the quote I used for the title when it comes to blogging, because I still struggle to find stuff to write about each week.
P.S.: Here’s a tip for already existing bloggers: when you have no inspiration on what to blog about just post about blogging like I did. 😉